Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Smile Awhile

A minister was called out late one night to visit a man who was very ill. After doing what he could for the man, who was at death's door, he asked the family why he was summoned. "I don't think I know you," said the minister. "Haven't you a minister of your own faith?"

"Yes," was the reply, "but we couldn't risk him with typhoid fever."

At Sunday school a little boy was deeply impressed by the story of Eve's creation from one of Adam's ribs. Later in the day, after running too hard, he felt a pain in his side.

"Oh," he gasped, "I think I'm going to have a wife."

"Open wide," demanded the dentist as he began his examination.
"You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen."

"You don't have to repeat it," snapped the patient.

"I didn't," answered the dentist. "You heard the echo"

A man noticed a pretty young college girl wearing a chain around her neck from which dangled conspicuously a Phil Beta Kappa key. Curious, because she seemed so young he inquired if the key was hers.

She smiled quickly and with a wink answered, "Oh yes. I always wear it when I travel alone. You'd be surprised how it keeps the wolves away."

Friday, May 14, 2010

Quinterssential Quote For Today

The ultimate compliment
John Byron to his friend John Hobhouse.

To one whom I have known long and accompanied far, whom I have found watchful over my sickness, and kind in my sorrow, glad in my prosperity and firm in my adversity, true in counsel and trust in peril - to a friend often tried and never found wanting.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Female CEOs Out-Earn Men

According to a report from Bloomberg News, in 2009 female CEOs earned 40 percent more than men. The average annual salary for female head honchos over the last few years topped $14 billion. Yahoo’s CEO Carol Bartz earns $47.2 million a year. And while in 2009 men were taking pay cuts, women execs were making bank, pulling in raises averaging almost 30 percent. Despite these stats, the business word is largely still a boys' club: Of companies listed by the S&P 500, only 16 of them are run by women. Marie Wilson of The White House Project, a women's advocacy group said, "I'm concerned about the vast majority of women who are now the majority of the workforce… it's kind of like the 16 supercorporate women are doing well. And that's a good sign—but it's not good enough."

Read it at ABC News

Tuesday, May 11, 2010



In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'
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Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska. May be Sarah Palin will not need Air Force 1.
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness:
28% (now get this...)
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
$ 16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair..
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air,the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air,
the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground,
the person died of natural causes.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4:
John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the
A. Father's Day
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,
this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.
So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them,
'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
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Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.
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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
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Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it:
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I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm.
This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?
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Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Shakespeare's Timeless One Liners.

An old man is twice a child.

Rosencrantz. in Hamlet.

The wounds invisible that love's keen arrows make.

As You Like It. Act 3.

Age cannot wither her,
Nor custom stale
her infinite variety.

Antony And Cleopatra. Act 2.

Men's evil manners live in brass;
their virtues we write in water.

Henry V111. Part 3. Act 4.

Household word:

It smells to heaven. Hamlet. Act

Let Hercules himself do what he may.
The cat will mew and dog will have his day.

Hamlet Act 5.

House hold word. What a piece of work is a man.
Hamlet Act 2.

Your tale, Sir would cure deafness.

The Tempest. Act 1.
A plague on both your houses.
They have made worm's meat of me.

Romeo And Juliet. Act 3.
When he is best,
He is a little worse than a man,
When he is worst,
He is little better than a beast...... Of Shylock.

Merchant Of Venice. Act 1.
God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man..... referring to Shylock.

Merchant of Venice, Act 1.

Household word;
Sharper than a serpent's tooth.
King Lear, Act 1.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

King Henry V1, Act 4.

Any one against? Unless he is suing your doctor or your insurance?

Kill thy physician,
And the fee bbestow
Upon the disease.

King Lear, Act 1.

You are not worth the dust which the rude wind blows in your face.

King Lear, Act 4.

Household word.
Eaten me out of house and home.

King Henry, Act 2.

The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns,
puzzles the will and makes us rather bear
those ills we have than fly
to others we know not of.

Hamlet Act, 3.

We will rather bear all the ills, hardships and hear aches here
than go away to some unknown place from where we can never hope to return.
If we can return it would be just like going to Toronto or London.

Household word.

Tower of strength. King Richard 111, Act 5.

As flies to wanton boys
are we to the gods;
They kill us for their sport.

King Lear, Act 4.

Does not say well about those to whom we pray...

Household word.

Get thee to a nunnery.
Hamlet Act 3.

The end of life cancels all bands.

King Henry 1V.

End of life releases us from all - enemies, bill collectors, donation appeals, even from doting loved ones.


Fear no more the heat of the sun,
Nor the furious winter's rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
home art gone and taken thy wages.

Cymbeline, Act 4.

the time has come to rest...in peace.?

Household Word.

The rest is silence.
Hamlet Act 5.

A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king,
And eat of a fish that hath fed of that worm.

Hamlet Act 4.

Life's cycle: Worm eats man... fish eats worm.... man eats fish that ate the worm that ate the man.

Confusing ?. Who cares .. Man already eaten by worm..

Imperious Caesar , dead and turned to clay,
Might stop a hole to keep the wind away.

Conquer the world, have Cleopatra at your feet and yet finally all you
are good for is to stuff a whole in the wall.

Hamlet, Act 5.

Of comfort no man speak:
Let's talk of graves,
Of worms, and epitaphs;
and with rainy eyes write
sorrow on the bosom of the earth;
Let's choose executors and talk of wills.

King Richard 11.

When we finally face death as all even clowns and kings must, avoid a lot of b.s. and talk of
epitaphs and executors and wills.

Household word.

Neither rhyme nor reason.

The Comedy Of Errors, Act 2.

Golden lads and girls all must,
as chimney-sweepers come to dust.

Cymbeline Act 4.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day today,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.
Out,out, brief candle.

Macbeth Act 5.

Household word:
What is past is prologue.
The Tempest Act 2.

Shakespeare's famous One-Liners:

To be, or not to be: that is the question.

Hamlet Act 3.

Shakespeare was not good at math. There are two questions in the above statement.

It's the strumpet's plague to beguile many
and be beguiled by one.

Othello Act 5.

No matter how smart a woman is giving the slip to men
she will finally be smitten by one.

Household word.

Good Night, Ladies.

Hamlet Act 4.

Great with child, and longing..for stewed prunes.

Measure For Measure, Act 2.

Today pregnant mothers send their husbands for pickles and ice cream (Dairy Queen).
In the 16th century the placebo of choice was stewed prunes.

Household word.

Stood on ceremonies.

Julius Caesar Act 2.

Shakespeare's famous one-liners.

Do you not know I am a woman?
When I think I must speak.

As You Like It, Act 3.

Shakespeare a chauvinist? Not by a long shot.

Shakespeare's famous one -liners.

The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.

Hamlet, Act 3.

House hold word:

Milk of human kindness:
Macbeth Act 1.

Thou art thy mother's glass, and she in thee calls back the lovely April of her prime.
Sonnet 3.

When a mother looks at her daughter she cannot help but reflect upon her own past, those days of wine and roses.

Household words:
The Green-Eyed Monster.
Othello Act 3

Everything that grows holds in perfection but a little moment.

Sonnet 15

The ripest fruit first falls.

King Richard 11, Act 2

Household Words.
Star-crossed lovers.
Romeo and Juliet, Prologue.

All's Well That End' Well, Act 4

"This above all:
to thine own self be true, and it must follow,
as the night the day, thou canst not
then be false to any man." or woman.

Hamlet, Act 1.

Household word:

"Dead as a doornail"
King Henry V1, Part 2, Act 4

"Let me have no lying;
it becomes none but tradesmen."

The Winter's Tale, Act 4.

Lying and businessmen are inseparable.

"To be honest as this world goes,
is to be one man picked out of ten thousand."

Hamlet Act 2.

Household word:
"Good Riddance"

Troilus and Cressida" Act 2.

Shakespeare's timeless one liners for all time.
"How poor are they
that have not patience.
What wound did ever heal but by degrees"

Othello Act 11.

Household words:
" The naked Truth "
" Loves Labor's Lost " Act V
Shakespeare's timeless one-liners.

"Tempt not a desperate man."

Romeo and Juliet, Act V.

Desperation can turn even the most civilized man into a fearsome savage.


"Do not give dalliance
Too much the rein."

The Tempest: Act 1V.

If you give your horse or dalliance ( flirting, toying, trifling etc;) too much rein, both will all too happily deliver
you to a destination of their choosing.

Household word:

"Bated Breath"

Merchant of Venice: Act 1.

" Delays have dangerous ends."

King Henry V1, Part 1, Act 111.

Shakespeare lived only 52 years.
Produced 42 plays.
Not much of a procrastinator?

" Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast."

Romeo and Juliet: Act 11.

Advance judiciously lest you spend the better part of your life picking yourself up.

Household words:
"Salad Days"
Antony and Cleopatra, Act 1.

"Saint - seducing gold."
Romeo and Juliet, Act 1.

Every one has a price. Even St. Francis.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Quinterssential Quote For Today

The ultimate love story. The ultimate lovers. Romeo and Juliet. Household word. The power of Shakespeare.


" Give me my Romeo ; when I shall die
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun."


Footprints in the Sands

Politics in Lanka is a dirty game
Sans sense of honesty, honour or shame.
On election-campaigns that squander millions,
When in power, make illicit billions.

Full of corruption, nepotism, crime,
They leave no footprints in the sands of time,
Self-seeking, self-serving, power-drunk quacks,
Cover up their crab-like, crooked tracks.

Parliament's pack of jokers, jerks,
Abuse their power for self and perks,
Goons and buffoons, men of straw,
Brazenly bend and break the law.

They promise us the sun and the moon.
Pledges broken or forgotten soon,
Barefaced, through their teeth they lie,
On hollow words can we rely?

They flagrantly flout every rule in the book,
To come into power by hook or by crook,
From one party to another they jump,
Kiss President's feet and lick his rump.

In sumptuous luxury they wine and dine,
Make ample hay while sun doth shine.
Of life's best things they have their fill,
The taxpayers have to foot the bill.

They trot the globe and have a ball,
In five-star hotel, shopping mall,
Lavishly splurge like duke or count,
On bankrupt Lanka's state account.

Their life is sweet, a bed of roses,
Gobbling Lanka's scarce resources,
Our so-called rulers, leading lights,
Are a bunch of social parasites.

Their hands are soiled, palms well greased,
Our people, rich and poor are fleeced,
Most of them to the core are rotten,
They flaunt and flash their wealth ill-gotten.

How could these robbers ever dare
Their numerous assets to declare?
An auditor's test they will not pass,
Many would end up behind bars.

Crime and corruption they cannot battle,
In their own cupboards many skeletons rattle.
A sincere statesman I fail to see
Among Sri Lanka's powers-that-be.

Idolized heroes of yesterday,
Made traitors, villains of today..
Free-media muzzled, my country's bane.
Journalists, editors attacked and slain.

Many politicians are vermin, pests,
Who earn fast-bucks and feather their nests,
They leave no footprints in the sands of time,
But craftily cover up their tracks of crime.

Fr Derrick Mendis SJ
Colombo 4.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Quinterssential Quote For Today

Insist on yourself. Never imitate.


Sunday, May 02, 2010

Quinterssential Quote For Today

Time passes quickly when you are in debt.