By Judith Viorst

TO MY HUSBAND WHEN HE STARTS CONTEMPLATING REMARRIAGE OR
IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE ,
HERE'S THE WIFE YOU NEXT SHOULD TAKE.

Let her be loving and gentle and easy to be with.
Let her have great mental health, also trust funds galore.
Let her hold views that you practically always agree with.
Let her be so damn good-natured she's almost a bore

Let her be younger than I am, not what's called pretty.
Let her be only okay playing scrabble and chess.
Let her do tax returns better than she can do wiity.
Let her enjoy football plenty, and sex a lot less.

Let her be friends with the grandkids, but never their nana.
Let her provide dust-free baseboards and Internet skills.
Let her be more like Elizabeth than like Diana.
Let her strong suit be serenity rather than thrills.

Let her - of course.. - bring some happiness into your life, dear.
Let her attend to your needs without making a fuss.
And each time you're asked to compare her with your late wife,
dear,
Let her receive a B-minus, and me an A-plus.