Just for kicks. :-)))

Like any mother:
I worried when my son joined the marines. But later on, when I asked him how things were going, he put my mind at ease.

"Let me put like this, Mom" he said.
"Living with you prepared me for boot camp."

*
A man is on trial for armed robbery. The jury comes back with the verdict. The foreman stands, clears his throat, and announces, "Not Guilty"

The defendant leaps to his feet. "Awesome" he shouts.

"Does that mean I get to keep the money?"